You’ve decided the time is right to start dating again and this time it’s a different approach. You’ve got life experiences and it doesn’t mean that it’s all bad. Whatever you’ve experienced it is just that, an experience that you can learn from and take forward; it’s part of who you are, and you have something unique to offer your potential partners.

You may have emerged from a long-term relationship or marriage, been looking after elderly parents or raising children, following a career so you didn’t feel you had time for yourself or time to commit to engaging in relationships.

Having made the decision to give it a go the worries may well creep in. Do you remember how to talk to someone on a date, to flirt and just be who you are? It all feels a bit like you’re out of condition-that awkward teenager again having to learn the ropes. What about all the etiquette? Can I make the first move, what do I talk about, when do we kiss?

The good news is that many people prefer someone who knows a bit about life and has some life wisdom. Nevertheless, those nerves are understandable but the important thing to remember is that it’s meant to be FUN! So, here are some tips to build your confidence.

Dating tip #1

Focus on your self-care. Take a good look at your lifestyle. Spend some time reviewing your eating habits, exercise and relaxation. When you feel good on the inside, physically and mentally, you project a vibrant personality. You feel more confident in yourself and this is a great boost when meeting new people.

Dating tip #2

Don’t worry about using reputable online dating sites! It a great way to meet lots of people, the more you meet the more likely it is that you’ll meet someone you like (and they like you).

Dating tip #3

Put the word out you’re available. Tell friends, family, people at work. That is an affirmation that you are positive and committed to this process and you never know there may be someone waiting in the wings.

Dating tip #4

You have probably been hanging out with friends who are couples. Now’s the time to change that and hang out where singles hang out, if it feels odd find a female friend so you can go together. Go to singles bars if you see someone you like strike up a conversation or just a smile. How about a new hobby where your ideal partner might hangout?

Dating tip #5

Give this some time. Firstly, take your time to enjoy and get used to the dating scene. Secondly, give it time. Be prepared to commit some time to being in the right place and connecting with potential partners.

Dating tip #6

Take the pressure of yourself! Be yourself not what you think someone wants you to be, that way you will come over as genuine and more likely to meet up with people you feel you connect with. Spend some time just talking to people, it’s the lost art of conversation that makes connection.

So have fun and here’s to the future!

Dr Jane Durston

Dr Jane Durston retired from medicine because of workplace stress, burnout and depression. She retrained as a nutritional Therapist and then realised that she lacked skills to help people implement these habit changes. She is now a certified Health and Life coach (HCI) and a Wellbeing Coach, accredited with Institute of Line Managers (ILM). She had always had a love of Pilates having practised for over 15 years, now she’s a qualified Level 3 Pilates teacher (VTCT level 3 Diploma). She first of all applied this to herself and healed herself. She lost weight, regained energy, learnt how to manage her stress and anxiety. Now she works with people to help them heal themselves, to transform their lives; so that they don’t have to experience what she did, and it doesn’t have to take years

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