If you’re navigating a new chapter as a solo you may still be mending a broken heart from your previous relationship or, at the very least, still figuring out how you can move on and let go of a love lost.
Here’s some dating advice that will help you along the way to dealing with heartbreak.
Avoid social media scrolling
Social media is a blessing and a curse. The online platforms offer connectivity and an online social life at our finger tips but when you’re going through a breakup or trying to heal a heart that has been broken it’s really important to avoid scrolling to see anything from your ex partner or simply just to post because you think they will see it and it will help you feel better about yourself in the short term.
It’s a good idea to either disconnect your accounts for a while, delete the apps or set a particular time of day (if you have that will power) that you will be able to post or check in on your friends and family. It’s also a good idea to no longer be connected with your ex partner on social because whilst you may feel like you’re making progress sometimes seeing something may throw your day off because nostalgia has an intricate way of working on our emotions.
Go through the motions
Don’t avoid the grief cycle of bouncing back after a breakup. If you don’t work through the sadness, anger, bargaining, denial, acceptance and letting go you may find yourself healing heartbreak at a slower pace than you expect. Feel the feelings, sit through the good, bad and ugly of emotions and figure out all the things you’ve learnt about your recent relationship.
It’s also a great idea to think about what you have learnt about yourself, what you’re willing to accept in love and what you are not. Taking stock is essential to moving forward in life and in attracting love again.
Don’t play the blame game
When you look to place blame on certain scenarios, discussions and situations that took place throughout the breakdown of your recent relationship, you will be subconsciously avoiding the letting go phase. Placing blame in a lost love and relationship can build up so much unhealthy emotions such as resent.
When you feel resent it’s like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die,
If you find yourself thinking back to the beginning of your relationship and reliving all of the good times you may be romanticising the shoulda, woulda, coulda’s. Whilst it’s important to keep memories and reflect on times that made us happy, don’t keep yourself stuck in wishing things could have turned out or believing things should have turned out differently. You are where you are now for a reason and that relationship simply wasn’t your door to open.
By romanticising you are not allowing yourself to move on for you and for your future. Stick to the facts, which we know is easier said than done, and then you might bring yourself back to centre and back to the reality of what is happening in the now. This will create the space that you now need for yourself to heal.
We’re old fashioned when it comes to dating and relationships. Traditionally, we believe in fixing what is broken and working on what matters but some relationships can find themselves beyond repair.
When it’s time to start the search for love again, if that’s there for you, we offer old school dating advice for those seriously searching singles and a dating website for you to meet like-minded singles on to start dating again.
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