Loneliness and dating are two hot topics right now. Divorce is on the rise and people of all ages are lonely. There are more people living alone than ever before. Experts say loneliness could be America’s next big health problem beside obesity. Being lonely actually makes you feel physically cold and is as detrimental to your health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

Dating is becoming increasingly harder to navigate through because of technology and modern-day life. People are thinking about long term relationships later in life because they are focused on their careers. Also, with all the dating apps, social media etc. it can lead to what is called the paradox of choice. It is when we have too much choice, we feel less happy and it can even lead to paralysis.

The main and most important thing you need to know when you are lonely or looking for love is that you must act. Loneliness is such a heavy feeling. I know because I’ve been lonely on and off during my life for different reasons. I know it is hard to even know where to start to end your loneliness or where to meet someone, so here are a few tips to get you started.

Dance Classes

I cannot say enough about dance classes (I did Salsa and Ballroom). First, it’s fun as everyone is learning together. It is fantastic exercise and exercise releases the brains natural anti-depressants. There are men and women there so is it also a great opportunity to meet a romantic partner. Once I moved to a new city, I felt so lonely because I knew no one and as you get older it can be harder to make friends. I joined a salsa dance class and it literally changed my life there. There was a huge group of us, and they used to invite me to everything from going to the Salsa clubs on a Friday night to their cat’s birthday party. I only wished I had joined earlier.


Volunteering is the best way to get out of your head and make a difference to you and somebody else. You will meet like-minded, caring people and have a new sense of well-being just knowing you are making a difference. This alone raises your self- esteem and confidence. Always when you give back you receive. It’s just what I call a life law.

Join a sports group/club/organisation

Follow what you enjoy and like. When you meet people with the same interests there is an immediate feeling that they are like us. We like people that we feel are like us. This makes it easier to build immediate rapport too. Hobbies are a great way to end loneliness and make new networks. I feel they are the spice of life. I joined a knitting class and can’t wait to get there every Thursday morning. The women there are so kind with there time and knowledge and many have even offered to baby sit for me. They are some of the most genuine people I have ever met.

Join a class

My friend always says you should never stop learning because it keeps you young and your brain alert. She is right. Again, when you join a class there is a common interest at heart and you make new friends. Two of my best friends I made through taking a class. They are still my friends today.

I promise you once you get going and get out, you’ll wonder why you did not start sooner. The first step is the hardest but once you take it you will get braver with every action, more confident and happier.

Before you know it, you will wake up one morning and realise I’m happy. I’m not lonely anymore.

-Frances Kelleher

Frances is a dating and relationship coach. “I ask thought provoking questions & listen with an open, kind & non judgmental heart.”


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