If you’re not in a relationship now that lockdown has kicked in, chances are your mind may have wandered to whether or not now is a good time to be dating.
Some will say no straightaway, perhaps they’ve decided the best thing to do is totally focus on themselves or their family.
Others will decide that in a time of great uncertainty, they don’t feel looking for love is the right thing to do. We get that.
But there’s another group of single people, who reckon now is absolutely the right time, and we are here for you.
Midlands-based relationships expert Fay Pelcher says:
“It’s a brilliant opportunity, while we’re on lockdown, to be on dating apps.
“It’s a great way to connect with people.
“I’ve advised my clients to get their profile set up and just see who is out there.”
Fay’s top tips include:
- Don’t assume the person you are talking to is only talking to you. Most people are talking to as many as six other people so talk to as many people as you want to.
- Ask lots of questions – this is the only way to find out about them and see if they could potentially be a fit. You can tell a lot from someone by the response that they give you.
- If you seem to hit it off, it’s okay to swap numbers and chat via WhatsApp or facebook Messenger.
She says: “Even though you can’t meet at the moment, talking on the phone is a must and as early on as possible. It’s no good messaging someone for weeks and then when you eventually hear their voice there is no connection at all – yes, this happened to me.
“If you can build up a rapport on the phone it will make it so much easier when you eventually meet them face to face and you will be less nervous.
“ I met my current boyfriend this way – he was away working and we spent hours on the phone for two weeks before we met and we had an instant connection when we did meet. I can’t wait to hear how my clients get on.”
Katie, 42, points out that now may be a time of greater honesty.
“Maybe all those people who gravitate on to dating sites while they’re still in a relationship may be less likely to do that,” she says. “Perhaps they’re feeling this is a time for reflection and integrity, or maybe it’s just not practical if they are with their partner 24-7.”
Andy, 52, says he feels like the pressure to meet is off and this puts him more at ease.
“I don’t mind chatting and like the idea of building a friendship without thinking we have to meet quickly.”
Julie, 44 isn’t so sure how some people will fare.
“We’ve all encountered potential dates who say they don’t want ‘endless texting’ – they want to meet as soon as possible.
“They’re going to have to relax a bit now. Being positive I think this can be a welcome respite from people who just want a ‘hook-up’ or one night stand.
“Of course there’s nothing wrong with that between two consenting adults but the ones who crack on they are looking for commitment when they’re not will have to have a word with themselves.”
Meanwhile Dawn, 61, is all for having a laugh.
“My friends have said they have taken the conversation off the actual dating site and in the absence of the possibility of a real face to face date, they are chatting on facetime – with a glass of wine in hand.
“I can’t help thinking that’s actually quite brave looking at how I come across on facetime – but it sounds like fun and I’m willing to try!”
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